Yes, I'm a Recruiter

Toaster ovens have long been the incentive for lesbian enrollment. You recruit someone, you get a toaster. This is what I blame for the downswing in lesbian enrollment. Everywhere I go, I've noticed that gay men outnumber us. What is it they get for new recruits? Dildos? iPods? Desperate Housewives on DVD?

All joking aside...According to the parents of two of my ex girlfriends, I made their little girl's gay. So where the hell is *my* toaster oven? Recruiting two girls is a pretty big deal...at least it was to their parents because I was 2 years older than both of them. It would appear that homosexuality *is* contagious...and I am a transmitter. If it is "catching" I must be infecting thousands of women per year. The horror, the horror...

But still, where is my damn toaster oven?