Rhythm is a dancer

[Alternatively titled: Round is a shape, damnit!]

I recently won a 6 month membership to a new gym downtown. It comes with one personal training session where you work out a training program for future visits. I went in yesterday to claim my prize and the personal trainer wasn't there. So I asked if I could just work out on the cardio machines. The secretary asked me, "Have you used treadmills and stuff before?" I wanted to say, "No, I was raised by a pack of wolves and I was recently returned to civilzation." But I just sighed and nodded. I told her I'd been to another gym in town. She said, "Well our machines are totally different than the ones at that gym." Come on, how difficult can it be to do a manual program on an elliptical machine and a treadmill? So she finally let me go...I went, changed clothes, and got on the elliptical. I set it for a manual program for 30 minutes, highest incline, 50% resistance. She walked by, looked at me, and asked, "Did you figure it out?" I nodded, while thinking, "No a magical gym elf came by and programmed it for me--here's your sign, motherfucker."

I finished my elliptical program and moved on to the treadmill for a relaxing 20 minute cooldown. Again, the lady was worried I wouldn't be able to start the machine...this time, she came over and started it for me. Thank you, lady. I forgot how to read for a minute. After I had showered, the personal trainer had come in and we made an appointment for Friday. I'm looking forward to it. At least she doesn't think I'm a complete idiot. I may be out of shape, but that doesn't mean I don't know how to work gym equipment.