National Self Injury Awareness Day

Approximately 1% of the United States population uses physical self-injury as a way of dealing with overwhelming feelings or situations, often using it to speak when no words will come. Despite the fact that self-injury is far from rare, myths and misunderstanding surround this psychological ailment -- mistaken ideas that often result in self-harmers being treated badly by police, doctors, therapists, and emergency room personnel.

In response to society's mistaken ideas about self-harm, the American Self-Harm Information Clearinghouse was created to educate and inform medical and mental health professionals, the media, and the general public, sorting myth from fact and explaining what is known about self-harm. One of ASHIC's (American Self Harm Information Clearing House) major projects is National Self-Injury Awareness Day. In this grassroots effort, people across the country and the world whose lives have been affected by self-injury deliver fact sheets, reports, and brochures to those who make decisions about the treatment of those who self-harm. (Taken from http://www.selfinjury.org/nsiad/)

The first NSIAD was March 1, 2002. Many people continue to recognize it each year by wearing an orange ribbon or wrist band. As a self-injurer, I am impressed with this -- an organization seeking to educate people about self harm. Most people think it is similar to suicide attempt and that all self-injurers are suicidal. That is not the case. And, most self-injurers, when suicidal, are asked what their plan is, it doesn't involve cutting at all. Another misconception is that it's only for attention. For some that is the truth, but for most of us, it isn't. It is a cry for help, yes, but also a way of expressing pain that we cannot otherwise express. It is a coping mechanism (albeit a bad one). It is an addictive behavior just like alcoholism or drugs.

The misconception that angers me the most is saying that piercing and tattoos are self-injury. Self-injurers do not cut to show people. It is done in secret and we work very hard to hide it from the world. Piercings and tattoos are meant to be shown off. They are meant to make a statement. I have three tattoos and my tongue pierced. It is a completely different experience than when I cut.

That said, As of March 1, I have not self-injured in 7 months and 1 day. (As of this post, 7 months and 4 days--and still counting!) It has been a long hard road and the struggle is not over yet. I will be battling this for the rest of my life. Some days are harder than others, but because of my family and my friends, I have been able to overcome the urge to do it on many occasions.

One of TLL's October topics is: "Lesbians and feminists . Do they go hand and hand or are they worlds apart?" I really was happy to see that topic up there. It allows me to blog about something worthwhile instead of always blogging about silly stuff. And, over at TLL, I hope that my blog posts reach a larger audience and make them think. I have a good bit to say about this topic so here, I am posting the unabridged version and at TLL I will post an abridged version.

When I was a kid I always thought feminists and lesbians were the same. When I discovered my own sexuality and finally, at 15, began the grueling process of coming out, I realized how wrong I was as a kid. To gain a little more perspective on the subject, I did search the net for some resources. I took a women's studies course about a year ago and loved every minute of it. When I was younger I assumed that all women in women's studies courses were lesbians and all girls who went to all girl's schools were lesbians as well. I was SO wrong. My freshman year of college, I only met ONE lesbian from the all girl's school across town from my school. And in my women's studies class, I was the only lesbian.

When I did the internet search, I found a page on Lesbian Feminism at Wikipedia. I got a hit for "Lesbian Feminism." Here are the 7 key themes of lesbian feminism as defined by Sheila Jeffreys.

1. An emphasis on women's love for one another.
2. Seperatist organizations.
3. Community and ideas.
4. Idea that lesbianism is about choice and resistance.
5. Idea that the personal is the political.
6. A rejection of heirarchy in the form of role-playing and sado-masochism.
7. A critique of male supremacy which eroticises inequality.

While a few of those are great like numbers 1 and 3...there is a big problem with others, especially number 4. In this view, homosexuality is a choice or conscious response to man-made organizations. I completely disagree. While some girls may choose it because it's in the media and it's "cool" to be bi...I can't understand why someone would consider sexuality a choice. My sisters did not choose to be straight. They just are. I did not choose to be a lesbian. I just am. Why would I choose such a hard path in life if I could just choose to love men instead?

I see feminism as a movement that seeks to create equality between genders, stop sexual discrimination, sexual harassment, and discrimination based on sex. I also can see a problem with gender-roles. As children we are socialized to fit into one specfic role, either man or woman. Even in lesbian relationships people ask, "Who is the man?" Why does someone have to be the man? When we were little, I played army and Power Rangers with my brother and he played house and barbies with me. I played baseball and football with the boys, but I also did ballet, tap, and jazz until I was 11. In my last relationship (we just broke up), I dressed more like a boi, but she drove everywhere, she paid most times, and she was the more dominant person. In bed though, I was more dominant. I considered us equal partners.

So it isn't that lesbians and feminists are worlds apart. More often than not, we have the same goals. But there is a distinct line between the two groups. A lot of feminists would not agree with gender roles in lesbian relationships, or one of the women dressing more masculine and acting more masculine. While it isn't the social gender role the butch lesbian fell into, she still is conforming to a gender role.

I have a hat that I like to wear that says "I <3 Bikinis." I think it's funny. Plus, I get some weird looks when I wear it. I love it. I love that it defies social norms and upsets people. One person it upsets is my middle sister. She says the hat "objectifies women." Yeah, it does. But men wear hats and even shirts like that with little or no objection from the general public. Some would say that by wearing that hat, I am rejecting feminism. Maybe I am. So what? Other ways I defy feminism are: shaving my legs and wearing a bra. Not all feminists refuse to shave or wear bras. But those two things are classic examples of oppression by men. A man invented the bra. We shave our legs to be attractive, most of the time, to men. I, however, do not. I don't like body hair at all--on anyone. That is why I shave, to be more comfortable in my own body. Is that unfeminist of me?

90% of the time I completely defy social norms and pre-set gender roles. When I have children, I will not force my son to play with boy toys if he wants a doll. I won't force my daughter to be a princess for halloween if she wants to be Batman. I want a son named Shannon and a daughter named James. I completely respect the feminist movement. I respect activist lesbians. I, however, am content just to be me. I don't have to go out and fight for legal abortion, birth control, sexual harassment, sexual discrimination, or many of the other feminist causes. I do have strong opinions on all of those issues, as well as strong opinions on lesbian issues like gay marriage/civil unions, adoption, sexual orientation based discrimination, and the general lack of education about gay/lesbian issues.

I don't think that marriage should be defined by the government. I don't believe that it should only be reserved for heterosexual couples. Marriage is about love, not gender. Love is the same between two women as it is between a man and a woman. I don't think that there should be a glass ceiling in some industries to stop women from advancing. I don't believe that some fields are more suited for men. A woman can do anything a man can. We are all created equal. No man, or woman, has the right to tell me who I can or cannot love, whether or not I can get an abortion if I want, whether or not birth control is available to me, how I should dress, act, or think. So yes, most of the time lesbian issues and feminist issues go hand in hand. But both movements are completely seperate.

Bipolar Awareness

Alternatively titled: Yes I have bipolar disorder. Fuck off.

//begin rant

I was reading my subscriptions on BlogLines and I came across this on Dr. John Grohol's blog, World of Psychology, and I came across this article onBipolar Awareness Day during Mental Health Awarness Week (October 1-7).

I am glad that both things exist. Too many people are affected by psychological disorders and do not seek the help they need because of the social stigma placed on having mental health problems. Among the most stigmatized problems are: Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia. Now, I'm not going to say much about Schizophrenia because I don't have any first hand experience with it...well, not much. I'll just say that Schizophrenia is NOT the same thing as multiple personalities or, Dissociative Identity Disorder. And people with Schizophrenia can and do lead normal productive lives.

Anywho, on to Bipolar Awareness. I loathe people who say, "you're Bipolar" or "he's Bipolar" or "I'm Bipolar." Diseases should not define who a person is. If you person had AIDS or HIV, you wouldn't want people saying "You're AIDS." or "You're HIV" would you? So the proper way to say it is, "I have Bipolar Disorder."

So, hello internet, I have Bipolar Disorder I. I suffer from both manic episodes and depression. I am on a mood stabilizing medication an atypical antipsychotic, two antidepressants, and a benzodiazepine (anti-anxiety medication). I have been hospitalized three times in my life, once for being manic due to being on a high dose of antidepressants, and twice for being severely depressed. My second depressive episode was preceded by a terrible manic episode that caused me to have to drop out of school. 90% of the time I am a fully functional person. I am not "crazy" or "psychotic." I am as normal as the next person. I just happen to have a chemical imbalence in my brain. People with depression also have chemical imbalances; so do people with anxiety disorders. So why the stigma for people who have Bipolar Disorder?

True, Bipolar Disorder can be very severe and require hospitalization. But so can depression and anxiety. As long as people suffering from the disorder stay medicated, episodes can be reduced or eveb prevented. Part of the reason people who have Bipolar Disorder go off their medication is the fact that people judge them for having the disorder. We don't judge people who have diabetes for being on medication. So why do people judge people who have to take psychiatric medications? People who have diabetes also require hospitalization sometimes. What is the difference? Why is it okay for someone with diabetes to seek medical help, but not for someone with a psychiatric illness?

So, I challenge you to educate yourself about Bipolar Disorder. Find out what it is like first-hand. A very good autobiography by someone (a therapist and leading research psychologist on Bipolar Disorder) who suffers from Bipolar Disorder is, An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfeld Jamison.

//end rant