Transmen=the new lesbians?
I was reading Savage Love the other day and there was a letter about the new thing: Transmen. Lesbians who go through most steps toward a sex change, but don't always get the complete operation. Once they have a "M" on their driver's license and birth certificate instead of a "F" states like California allow the couple to marry--even though they have girly bits. I don't get it. Is it not okay just to be butch anymore? Are our butch counterparts resorting to drastic measures for the sake of marriage? I understand transgendered people. I know it's a real thing. I just don't understand this sudden rise in the number of transmen.
There is a blog on Xanga that I read. It's by a lesbian/transman from Australia. She was content for her whole life to be a butch lesbian. Now, in the past year or so, she has decided that she is more comfortable being masculine. She has a male name, she has a prosthetic penis she wears every day. She binds now. She's taking hormone shots. I don't understand it. True, I can't know exactly how she feels...but it seems to me that this came out of the blue. Why can't she be a butch lesbian who packs on occasion?
As soon as I started dressing more boyish, my mom automatically asked me, "Do you want to be a man?" I was astounded. NO! I am happy being a woman. I love my breasts. I love my girly bits. I just happen to like men's clothing. Whats the problem? And furthermore, as I have said in previous posts, I do not consider myself butch. I'm a tomboy. Leave me alone.
7 comments:
It's not easy and hell it's not easier than being a lesbian. It's harder.
1. Both communities, straight and gay, dislike us. 2. Growing up hating your body and dealing with the fact that [sometimes] you're attracted to what others see as the 'same sex' when in reality we're heterosexual transmen. So we deal with gender dysphoria, [some] hating our physical selves, and then add on the shit people think about our sexual orientations whatever they might be. 3. Transition is not easy. I haven't been through it and I know perfectly well I won't understand what it's like until I do go through it, but I do know that it is not easy. If you look at just cost, it's friggin' expensive. If you look at pain, it is not a few shots, and damn shots hurt, plus before that binding is never super comfortable. 3. Then dealing with the coming out to everyone part, to me, is much harder than any G/L could understand. My parents would much rather have me be their lesbian daughter (easily ignored) than their straight son (not as easily ignored). Trust me, it is NOT easier.
Please for all of humanity, educate yourself. Gays and Lesbians can be as prejudice as anyone else it they do not know all of the fact. I would not wish this on anyone but I suggest to you that you try it out and see how difficult it really is.
It is amazing how people who are supposedly oppressed, turn around and oppresses others in the same way their oppressers do.
Hey, I can tell you why a lot of us don't do the last step. $29,000 for an insensate lump of deformed flesh that doesn't even remotely LOOK like a dick getting sewn between your legs isn't enticing. $70,000 if you want feeling in it, which comes from nerves somewhere else in your body. Where do you think all that skin comes from, by the way? You have to mangle other parts to donate from. I'd be glad to take out a shitload of loans to pay for a costly operation that will leave me with something that RESEMBLES a male organ, but until then, I'll stick with what the hormone shots help me grow. FYI, I can at least feel things with that! >:0
I'm not pretending to know what it is like to BE a transman. Furthermore, I support each and every one of you in your quest for happiness. My blog post was in reference to a Savage Love column and NY Times article. *Some* (I never said ALL) seem to be going through transitions as transmen and using it to their advantage to be able to marry in states that allow that. Once they have a M on their drivers license, they stop being a transman and go back to being butch.
I'm not bashing transmen. I never said you were "recruiting" tomboys. buthes, dykes, and bois. Just like I don't go out and try to convince straight women that they are lesbians. So please, try and see the whole picture before you get mad. You should have read the Savage Love article I linked to.
I'm sorry for offending you all. Truly.
Um... not all transmen were lesbians, or become straight men. I'm trans, and for a long time had serious trouble understanding how it could be that I was born female, but wanted to be a man who loves and partners with other men. Since transitioning I've found that there are lots of other FTMs who identify as gay, and have sex and relationships with gay men and with other gay identified FTMs. So its not just a 'lesbian thing.' And, for those transmen who are into women, and did identify as lesbian for a while (as sort of a best fit situation at the time), so what. They are not denigrating lesbian community or identity, they are not saying you can't identify as butch or as a tomboy, they are simply trying to be happy with themselves. People should respect the personal choices of others. And those who face discrimination and intolerance should be empathetic to people in similar situations (i.e. it is fucked up for gays to think being transphobic is okay).
i agree that it's harder that being a lesbian. it's a lot more screwed up. i got a lot of periods when im down. i cant be who i am and that's what kills me.i live in a society where the lgbt in general are being run over like trash. but i believe tis gonna be better. and by the way, the lebt people i talked to were amazed how can that be, you're a transman and you like men,thats what they told me. well thats how i feel. gay. wow dont get me started:) till i get down again.
anyone for a contact?
cyberaddicam1@yahoo.co.uk
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